The good news is that I finally have my hospital admission date: April 13.

I suppose unknown news isn’t really news. The outcome is the same, and things are proceeding as planned. But after the MRI, the doctors still aren’t quite sure what’s lighting up on the PET scan. They think there’s a 75 percent chance it could be Hodgkin’s lymphoma, which is strange, because it’s not in my lymph nodes, but it my pancreas. The other 25 percent is a big question mark. Inflammation? It doesn’t appear to be pancreatic cancer or another pancreas issue, according to the MRI.

There was talk of doing an endoscopic ultrasound and biopsy this morning—in fact, I had one scheduled for next week. But after some thought, it was cancelled. The biopsy would sample only a very small part of the pancreas—possibly not enough to tell if Hodgkin’s lymphoma was present. It also might not rule out other possibilities enough that they could tell what exactly it is. And doing a more invasive surgery at this point doesn’t make sense.

The radiation doctor was going to radiate this area anyway, so everything is going to go as planned. Five days of outpatient radiation begins on April 7, and then the hospital stay and everything it entails begins the following week.

I’m disappointed that there’s still an unknown bit of possible cancerous something lurking as I go into transplant, but I’m also relieved that this doesn’t push back treatment too much. I want to get this over with. I am as impatient as this cancer is stubborn.

Photo note: I have no photo of my pancreas on hand, so here is a photo of my cats taking an IQ test.

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